Mind over Hiccups

Golly... I could totally use a margarita right now. And some 80 degree weather. It's freezing here in TN! Why did I ever move back?

Oh yeah, that's right. Because I couldn't afford to stay in Florida. Dang it!

* * *

That said, here's a little trick for you. It always works for me.

Next time you have the hiccups, will them away. That's right. Use the power of your mind to make them disappear.

I do it all the time and it works. I get the hiccups and I say to myself, "Self, you DON'T have the hiccups!"

Just like that, the hiccups disappear. And they don't come back.

I've heard that hiccups are a mental thing. That they can be destroyed through sheer will-power. And it's true. I've been there before you, brother, and I've experienced the power of the mind! Hallelujah!

Seriously, just try it. It works.

Sadly, though, it doesn't work for my beautiful and charming wife. Don't tell her... but the fact is... my mind is like a MILLION times more powerful than hers.

(Goldang it... I'll bet she reads this and kills me!)

Anyone know any special "prayers for a damned soul" type prayers? I think I'm going to need one soon...

-DG